Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize