When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
