she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
