He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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