if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
