in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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