ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
