So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why did my mother make you get naked?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
