it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
