I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
