Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
