just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
