I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
