You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
