Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
