We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
