I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
