he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
