she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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