I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
