Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
do nipples grow back?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
