I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
