i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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