Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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