Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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