jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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