He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
