What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
