exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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