Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
