Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is the high leading the old right now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't turn off my feet"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
