She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
