I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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