Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
