The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
now i know why i became what i already was.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
