sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
