I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
