My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize