So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
