It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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