A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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