I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
