I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize