im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I could fuck to npr.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
