You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
