It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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