Is it normal to miss your booty call?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
