I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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