I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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