It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
