I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
