Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
