You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize