There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I lost the right to judge tonight
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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