...so i touched it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize