I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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