I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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