shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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