Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
