i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
