I can tuck mytits in my pants
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
