No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
