I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This is classic penis vs brain.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
