Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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