$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
