Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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