Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
