Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
