Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
