id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
