sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My ass is underappreciated
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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