its not stalking. its research.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I smell like Dick and happiness
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
