i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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