I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
