I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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