would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
