You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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