I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
