That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
