I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
