in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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